firsttofreedom | Locked to bloodsinging

Stiles had come back.

It really shouldn't have surprised anyone. Law of averages said that eventually Stiles would return home, tail tucked between his perverbial legs, after years of being away. And well, that time was finally happening.

For two years, Stiles had wandered the wilderness, trying to sort himself out, trying not to be a danger to anyone. It was why he had left, after all. After being bitten, after turning...after becoming feral, and nearly killing Scott.

It wasn't like he had wanted to leave--he just hadn't seen another option. It wasn't like Derek knew what to do with him, and he sure as hell wasn't going to stay around and let Peter teach him--especially since 'be a psycho' wasn't really his way of going about things.

So he had left...and besides spending six months with a pack in Canada that really helped him sort things out...he had been alone. Alone, and unsure if returning to Beacon Hills, if asking to be part of the pack, was really a good idea.

It was why it had taken him two years to finally come back, to ask.

He still didn't have an anchor, he still struggled with himself, but Stiles felt that he finally had enough control that he wasn't a danger to others. And that was what mattered most.

When he heard the window open, he growled, but forced himself to stay in control--he had expected Derek, maybe, or Scott.

But instead, he was face to face with Isaac.

"What are you doing here?"

It had been years since Isaac had seen Stiles. He still looked the same; the moles were the same, the brown eyes. The scent was the same, but different. Stiles was different. A wolf. Isaac had known, of course, before Stiles had left, after he'd attacked Scott on his first full moon. The boy had been crushed both by the attack -one that he'd fought off- as well as his best friend's disappearance.

The growl caught Isaac off guard and he almost took a step back.

Almost.

He'd learned a lot in the last two years.

Growling back, Isaac stood his ground. "Could ask you the same."

Edited 2012-10-09 11:35 (UTC)

Stiles had let his hair grow long, and had finally managed to fill out--muscle where just skin and bone had been. He'd hit six feet, too, and no longer slouched. The other pack had helped him respect himself, and his 'gift', even if he still felt like it was a curse.

One that he actively knew about, and had taken anyways. But hey, he wasn't that idiot anymore.

Probably.

Eyes glowing an errant orange-gold, he snorted.

"This is my house. I'm pretty sure I'm allowed." Allowed here, at least. Maybe no where else in Beacon Hills, but this was still safe territory.

There was no denying that Stiles looked good; if nothing else, the bite helped in that area. But it seemed almost... wrong, to scent the wolf on the boy and Isaac couldn't help the way his nose twitched slightly.

At the sarcasm, he tilts his head to one side, amusement on his features as he forces himself not to let Stiles see how the sudden return of someone he had once considered pack effected him.

"You know what I mean." There's a growl in his voice and he stands up straighter, using the inch and a bit he had on Stiles to his advantage. "What're you doing back?"

Edited 2012-10-09 11:55 (UTC)

Isaac looked...good, too. But thing about Isaac was that he always looked good. The guy, like all the other damn Sour Pack Kids had been walking, breathing models. Even now, with his own 'upgrades' he didn't feel like he compared, completely. Yeah, he was confident in his own looks, in his own abilities, now (he did have a boyfriend for 3 months that one time, damn it), it wasn't the same, compared to them.

After all, they had just eased into it. He never had.

"Because I wanted to come home. I didn't know I needed a reason for that." He knew he sounded defensive, but truly, he was. He was being questioned in his own home, about deciding to come back. Was it so hard for Isaac to believe that he had been home-sick? Lonely? Just...wanting to come back to something familiar?

"Didn't know you thought of Beacon Hills as home anymore." And if there's a hint of bitterness in his tone, he's going to ignore it. Isaac wasn't sure when, but somewhere between Stiles being the annoying human and an actual pack member, the Beta had developed feelings for him.

And then Stiles had been bitten and he'd up and left not too long after.

Isaac doesn't even flinch at the defensive tone; if he's honest he can understand it. But that doesn't mean he planned to back down. After all, "you left."

"Yeah, I left, Isaac." Stiles snorted, flinging a hand out, forcing himself to stay in control--but it was getting harder, the more riled up he was getting. "I left because I was a liability, and I was going to get someone killed. Because you all had more important shit than worrying about me. I did to protect people."

He looked around, "And why are you even in my house? What, did my dad adopt you and just not tell me about it?" While he had been gone, he had kept in touch with his dad and Scott via email and the occasional phone call, at least.

"We were all liabilities at one point, Stiles! You weren't alone here! We could have helped you." Blue eyes flashed gold, but he refused to let Stiles getting in, refused to lose control. He hadn't done that in a while, he wasn't going to do it now.

His eyes narrow then. "I could smell you all over town. Didn't want to alert anyone to you being back until I knew for sure." He bristles.

"Yeah but it just--it wasn't the same." It wasn't. He had seen the look in Derek's eyes--in Peter's. Neither of them knew what the fuck had gone wrong with him. Maybe people like him weren't meant to have the gift, the bite. He had turned into a freak, a feral. An abberation. Yeah, sure, at least he hadn't turned into a Kanima, but still...

...it was what it was. And the other pack had helped him sort it out. To gain control, to make his peace. Told him that to go forward, he had to go back.

So here he was. Hoping that somehow he could make it right.

"Isaac--you can't tell them. I got to do this." He was pretty damn sure they wouldn't appreciate finding out that he was back, and had seen one of the Betas, first. He wasn't sure, but that sort of behavior from an Omega probably wasn't taken well.

An outsider.

His voice was smaller and he growled internally at the weakness it showed. "We would have helped." Isaac would have helped; but he didn't say that out loud. Derek hasn't understood what happened, why Stiles had turned out so... Different from the rest of them. Peter had checked through this computer and found nothing that have any explanation.

Isaac and Scott had both grilled Deaton and he'd had nothing to offer either. Nothing more than 'sometimes it happens'.

And so they'd stayed away, under instruction not to follow him or search for him for any reason. And the pack had obeyed.

But it still sucked. Isaac knew that Scott heard from him now and again, but he'd never been contacted by the rogue teen.

"Then you need to. To go and tell Derek you're back." He'd be able so smell the Omega on Isaac anyway. But. "If I can't tell them, you need to. Before he figures it out on his own."

"I know that. I..." Stiles sighed, running a hand through his hair, moving to sit down on the bed, a bit of the fight deflating out of him. He had intended to when he had first gotten back, but then he had chickened out. He didn't know how to explain to Isaac...to anyone, really, about how it felt. To be an Omega, without a pack. He had asked the other pack if he could join--but they had told him that his ties to Derek's pack kept him from joining...

...so again, he came back. But Derek could be an asshole, and Peter, a creepy psychopath.

Neither one of those things made him feel like they'd want him back. Everyone seemed to be doing just fine, without him--he didn't want to ruin that for them, either.

"...I know. I was planning on going over to the house tomorrow." Probably. Maybe.

"Then why didn't you let us?" No one else had really understood why Isaac had taken it so hard when Stiles left, after all he was Scott's best friend, not Isaac's. And he'd never bothered trying to explain it. He'd just continued on the way the rest of them had.

He doesn't move from where he's standing, in front of the window, arms crossed over his chest. "Really? Tomorrow? How long have you been back and how long did it take me to find you? Really think Derek won't figure it out? In fact, I wouldn't put it passed him to be waiting down the street until after I leave to come up here."

He just wanted Stiles to see, wanted to understand what was going through his head, why his heart rate spiked at the idea of seeing the Alpha. "Stiles... We're still... We're..." He sighed.

"Because it wouldn't have gone well, damn it. You guys had enough to deal with. What if I had lost control when we were fighting the Alphas? I could have gotten someone killed."

He frowned, looking down at his hands. "I've been back a couple of days. I know how to cover up my scent well enough that it takes that long for werewolves to scent me out." And yeah, maybe Derek had already figured it out--the fact he hadn't come by meant that maybe, really, he didn't want Stiles around.

At Isaac's comments, he looked up, eyes golden again. "You're what?" Isaac...he'd always had the pack, in one way or another, after he turned. He had Scott as his new best friend...Derek as a leader...the others as friends.

"Because Erica and Boyd were just models of self control." They may not have been as unpredictable as Stiles had been -was- but neither of them had been in complete control then. The point wasn't to make comparisons though. It was to prove that he wasn't the only one who was a liability.

Isaac hesitates. He hasn't expected Stiles to have been back that long. "If I've found you, he has. He may just be waiting for you to do the proper thing. Which is approach him."

He clenches his jaw. "We're a pack. We were before you got the bite. That wasn't goin to just change. Damnit Stiles, do you even understand what that means? You were a part of our pack and you left. Just like Erica and Boyd did. We were your pack and you left us."

"They aren't feral, Isaac." Stiles snorted. "There is a difference, and you know it." He didn't understand why Isaac was so insistent that he was part of pack; it made him feel...

...he didn't know. Good, somehow. But that didn't mean Derek would feel the same way.

"I wasn't part of the pack. It's not like Scott magically joined up. And just--" Stiles shook his head. "I left you because I didn't have a choice. Why can't you see that!" He didn't need to be made to feel even worse than he already did. He was the freak, he always was. He just wanted one person to understand that he only left because he had to.

"Well, clearly you can learn to control it. And you could have learned without leaving us!"

Throwing his hands up in exasperation, Isaac huffs. "This isn't about Scott! This is about you as how you left! You didn't even let us try and help you work through it! You chose to leave us. You did have a choice!" The anger leaves him then and he drops his gaze to floor in a way that resembled the old Isaac; the real Isaac.

"I cared about you and you left." He didn't realise his mistake until it was too late.

"You don't know that, Isaac. I was with a pack that actually had an alpha who knew what they were doing and they took months before they could sort out what was wrong."

Stiles was about to shoot something back at Isaac, but the last words stopped him cold. The other werewolf wasn't lying, but he didn't understand--he hadn't ever thought Isaac liked him like that. It wasn't like he had werewolf powers back then...and it wasn't like Isaac had ever really paid attention to him, like that.

"What do you mean, you cared?"

Isaac doesn't bother arguing; he's said all he can and there's no point in repeating himself when he and Stiles clearly don't see eye-to-eye on the topic.

At Stiles' next question, Isaac falters, realizing his slip up and his eyes go wide as he gapes. He could lie, tell him he meant they, that they as a pack had cared, but there was no point when Stiles would be able to detect the lie.

"I--I... I mean... I... Stiles, I..." What was he meant to say?

"You what." Stiles stood back up, advancing slightly, but keeping himself in check. He just didn't understand--it wasn't a lie, but it still didn't make sense, to him. "You never paid me any real attention. You were always too busy talking to Scott."

Isaac takes a step back without realising it, away from the approaching Omega and he ducks his head. "It doesn't... It doesn't matter." Except it did. Because even now, after two years, Isaac still had those feelings.

"Ever think it might matter to me?" Stiles snorted, approaching again, using his height, his new found size to his advantage, working Isaac into a corner. "You don't just say something like that, then let it drop. That isn't fair."

Isaac didn't realise that he'd let Stiles back him into the corner until he was already there and he'd have taken the time to curse himself for the mistake if he wasn't so tongue tied nervous due to the whole situation.

"I... What... I... What do you want me to say? That... That I had a thing for you but couldn't tell you and then had to deal with it all by myself when you left? That I never stopped feeling for you? What would it even change?" He tries to glare but it falls short. "Don't talk to me about fair."

"Fair?" Stiles let the words wash over him, that Isaac had cared for him...but there was anger there, still, and frustration. "You could have told me. I was human, and an idiot. It wasn't like I could read your mind, or smell it or anything like that."

He reached up, putting a hand on Isaac's chest, determined to make the werewolf stay where he was, golden eyes baring down. "You could have told Scott to tell me. Or get him to give you the email address I used. It isn't fair that I spent all this time thinking that no one but Scott gave a shit. That you did but decided not to tell me."

"You were in love with Lydia! I don't say anything because... I figured it would be useless." Isaac ducks his head, avoids Stiles' gaze while the Omega spoke, unwilling to face the truth in the words he was saying.

He shakes his head. "I didn't see the point any more, after you'd left. I didn't think you cared about us. You were pack, we all cared about you. And then you took off... So we-I figure you didn't care anymore." The words are as jumbled and repetitive as the ones swirling around in his head and he's not even sure it makes sense. But he has to tell Stiles anyways.

"If you are going to say this stuff, look at me." It almost came out as a growl, but Stiles could smell the truth on him...but he wanted to see it.

"I left because I cared so damn much, I didn't want to see any of you get hurt. You'd been through enough--I was just...I was just a big problem that I didn't think anyone should have to deal with." Stiles sighed, finally pulling his hand away from Isaac's chest.

"And yeah, I was in love with my idea of Lydia--but you had to have known that I thought you were attractive. You have a werewolf nose too. I didn't back then."

Blue eyes shot up then, meeting Stiles' brown ones and holding. He couldn't help the way his stomach flip-flopped at the tone of the Omega's voice, and yet it made him nervous at the same time and he had to fight to keep his gaze up.

"It may have been a problem, but it didn't make you any less important. We'd have helped you deal with it. We're tougher than you give us credit for; we could have handled it."

His eyes followed that hand as it moved away, briefly, before finding Stiles again. "I walk into the corridor, or the grocery store or the gas station and the scent of arousal is always there. How was I to know it meant any more? If it even did. You can find someone attractive without being attracted to them." After all, Isaac found Erica and Scott and Lydia, even Jackson and Derek attractive, but he didn't feel anything more than platonic for them.

"Yeah well I didn't know if you guys could." Stiles shook his head. "And I didn't want to risk it--I didn't want someone getting hurt because of me." Not after what happened with Scott, with Derek.

Moving to sit back on his bed, he stretched out his legs, trying to get some of the nervous energy out of his frame, hands flexing into the sheets.

"You could have just asked. You know, what normal people do when they like someone." Stiles just wished Isaac had asked.

"And you weren't willing to try, to let us try." Isaac watches Stiles on the bed, eyes taking him in. There's changes, the ones that come with being a wolf, but his scent is mostly the same. He'd never had any doubts that Stiles was attractive, but the bite had enhanced certain features and he's downright beautiful now.

Isaac hadn't expected all of his buried feelings to come back so hard so fast once he'd seen him.

"I wasn't... I wasn't willing to risk rejection. I wouldn't have been able to handle it." And neither would his wolf, but he ignored what that might mean.

"No, I wasn't. Because if trying meant that one of you got hurt again, or died because of me?" Stiles snorted, running his hands through his thick hair. This was why he shouldn't have come back. They couldn't understand why he left--why he had needed to leave. Why it had been so damn important.

Staying quiet for a moment, Stiles forced himself to calm, not wanting to claw up his bedsheets, or wolf out. His own wolf liked the idea of Isaac liking him--but recoiled over the fact that the other boy wasn't even able to tell him.

"Yeah well you should have risked it. Trust me, I doubt you would have been rejected." Stiles, back then, had just wanted someone to care about him--genuinely. And hell, maybe if Isaac had told him...he would have had an anchor, and none of the shit that went down, would have. Maybe he never would have left.

"Maybe you should have given us more credit." It's not meant to be a dig, but he knows it comes out that way, knows his tone of voice says that it is. Isaac can't bring himself to feel guilty for it, though, not after two years of them all wondering what they did wrong that Stiles would rather run than stay with them.

He watches as the Omega works to calm himself, and does the same; it wouldn't do either of threm well to lose control and wolf out. They're already both frustrated and while Isaac's control has increased since Stiles left, it's still not perfect.

"You showed no interest in me. Nothing that would have suggested that risking it was a good idea." He shakes his head, hands slapping against his thighs in irritation. "And besides, would you have been accepting me because you wanted me or just because you wanted someone and I was the first person who came along? Because that? That's worse than rejection."

"Yeah well maybe I should have. But I was a stupid kid back then." Stiles bit back, shaking his head. "I learned my lesson, trust me." Isaac had no idea what he'd been through--Stiles had to keep reminding himself of that; he was judging things from his perspective, just like he was doing from his own.

He needed to remember he'd grown the fuck up.

"I don't know, Isaac! We could have figured it out!" He sighed, leaning back against the headboard. "Look this is a stupid conversation to be having. I can't change the past, okay? Judging me over it isn't going to help things."

He just wanted to come home.

"We all were. Doesn't change it." The words are harsh, brought on by the left over feelings of betrayal and abandonment the pack had felt after Stiles had left. But the fight is gone from it, like he just can't be bothered arguing over it anymore. Isaac may have changed, but confrontation was still not his strong point.

Isaac ducked his head again, backing further into the corner as if he could sink back and become one with the walls behind him. "I missed you. Probably more than I had any right to."

"Yeah I know that, okay? I can't take it back. So just stop, please."

Stiles watched Isaac for a moment, before pulling up his legs to his chest, resting his chin on his knees." You have no idea Isaac..." He chuckled bitterly, chewing on his lip. "I spent only six months with another pack, learning how to control myself. The rest of the year and a half? I was alone." Completely and utterly. To be an Omega is to be alone. In all the terrifying things that meant.

"I missed you, too." He missed everyone.

Isaac hesitates for only a brief moment before deciding that enough has been revealed now that anything else isn't so odd and he approaches the bed, climbing onto it and sitting cross leg in front of the Omega. "So tell me."

Stiles looked up, watching Isaac move to sit on the bed. His wolf feels cagey for a moment, but relaxes, enjoying the smell of the other wolf around him. He didn't think on that, though, but on the other werewolf's words.

"Where do you want me to start? I...spent six straight months running. Didn't know what the hell I was doing." Stiles was surprised that he even survived, frankly, "Ended up in Canada...ran into a pack up there that had completely cut themselves off from humans a long time ago." They had found him, half starved, more feral than human. "They took me in, helped me gain control of myself...taught me things about what I was, now." And how to deal with it.

"And what were you? What happened when you turned?" It was a question they'd all asked; what had gone so wrong that Stiles had ended up more out of control than all of them. Stiles out of all of them.

He wants to reach out, touch, the way he does with Erica and Boyd and Scott and Derek and sometimes even Jackson. But he doesn't. Stiles isn't pack -yet- as much as he was and as much as the rest of them wanted him to be and he isn't sure it would be welcomed.

"They didn't...know completely. I went feral, for some reason. It's rare, but happens." Stiles laughed bitterly, looking down at his hands. "Means something's too wild in me. Sometimes people who shouldn't be werewolves don't die...they just become like me." Why not? There were Kanimas, after all. Why couldn't Stiles just be a freak, too.

"...they wouldn't let me stay with them. I've been--alone the past year."

"You never could do anything by half, could you Stilinski? Just because it didn't work out for you straight away, doesn't mean... There's nothing wrong with you, Stiles."

This time he doesn't hesitate. He reaches out to shove his hands into Stiles' squeezing firmly. "You should have come back home sooner. There's always a place for you here." Derek would have no choice in it, if for whatever reason he got his Alpha knickers in a twist over it. Too many of them would welcome home back with open arms.

"Nope, got to go full on freak, these days." Stiles let out a little huff sound, not entirely convinced at Isaac's declaration that there was nothing wrong with him. There was, and there wasn't really any way for him to forget it.

When Isaac' moves to grab his hands, he stiffens, his claws almost sliding out, unused to contact. He relaxes almost immediately, squeezing back. "Yeah, I just...I just wasn't sure."

Locked to bloodsinging

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And it is bed for me! Replies later <3

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I must go to work now, so tags later <33

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I'm at work so tags will be all sporadic like :)

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